Royston Vasey: it may look like every other bleak town you have ever seen, but it's the locals you have to worry about.TUBBS AND EDWARD. The pig-nosed proprietors of the Local Shop who don't like change, in fact, they don't even give change.THE DENTON FAMILY. They run an ordered home with no solids in the downstairs lavatory and regular lectures on self-abuse. GEOFF, MIKE AND BRIAN. They are local businessmen and best friends, although Geoff hates Mike. He also hates Brian.PAULINE. The town's monstrously unsympathetic Restart Officer for whom the unemployed are a sad waste of skin.BARBARA. A pre-op transsexual (with a voice deeper than Barry White) and the proprietor of Babs Cabs.LES MCQUEEN. He's never got over the golden days of his band Creme Brulee - when he could walk into a urinal and heads would turn.And that's not the half of them.

Estimated despatch 5-10 days after ordering.