PARRALOX

Fame at last, darling! Edina's due to appear on Richard and Judy in the morning and an invitation to Christmas at Trudi and Sting's can't be far behind. She'd better iron out those wrinkles luckily Patsy has just the thing

FISH FARM

Surprise, surprise! Eddy has a garden and there's a sexy, aristocratic gardener in it! Time for her to crank up the old va va voom and set about finding his country seat.

PARIS

Move over Naomi, Kate and Gisele, Patsy's back in front of the camera, as Eddy Saffy and Bubble join her for a magazine photoshoot in Paris. A mother and daughter spread beckons that is, if Saffy manages to survive Edina's idea of sightseeing. DONKEY

"I'd just once like to take my clothes off and not be marked by them " Two weeks into her detox diet and Eddy's found a muscle in her arm for the first time. Meanwhile, Patsy's undergoing a transformation of her own by losing her trademark '60s fringe

SMALL OPENING

"I know the kind of little play you will have written. It'll make Mummy Dearest look like Winnie the Pooh." The shame of it all! Saffy's written a play about her life and Edina is horrified. Just how fat is the actress playing her going to be?

MENOPAUSE

Womb prayers echo all around the house as Eddy and Patsy join Menopausuals Anonymous. While Edina rails against the group hugs, a new, altogether fluffier, Patsy is about to emerge

Estimated despatch 5-10 days after ordering.